I'm happy to report that the inaugural Cruiser Cotilion (2003) went off smoothly and did not result in any participants being mamed or killed.



As 10AM approached, participants began to trickle into the Fairview Park parking lot one by one. Among the first were Robin of ShareMTB fame and Mike aka PainFreak.

Here, Mike and Robin give each other's cruisers a trial spin.


Jane also gives the lowrider a try.


Mike shows us the proper look for this badboy cruiser.
The lot gradually fills up with more and more people. Despite the large turnout, many end up too shy to compete and opted to spectate.


Timan shows off his beauty of a Colnago as Calvin takes a photo.


Somehow this "white trash" character found out about our little event... When he rolled up, I think everyone was caught very off guard!
For the first portion of the competition, all "Beauty and the Beast" contestants lined up and would one by one strut (rode) a short distance for the audience.

Ed rolls out first.


Timan trys to up the ante by riding my Breezer.


Photoshop-master Chris is next on his spraycan special. This is the gentleman/genius behind the Zonic Man "Lord of the Dance" photo.


Mike rolls... hoping that he can make the tight turn.


Jeff aka Hollywood aka "white trash" bares his guns for the show, much to the delight of the women.
After some deliberation, the crowd determines that Robin and "white trash" tie for first place, with Mike taking second. Ed took third, although I'm not sure if this was correctly scored since 4 competitors ended up placing.


Robin takes a victory strut.


As does "white trash". Yes ladies, he's available!


[Edited by: terminaut - Oct 22, 2003 - 5:43pm] The next competition was the 3 lap short-track criterium. This was quite enjoyable to watch for everyone.

Caprice counts down the start of the event and they're off!


Steve aka DDawg takes the holeshot and early lead.


Everyone safely rounds the first corner towards the singletrack.


Single-filed through the twisty and somewht bumpy singletrack.
Steve holds on to his lead for the first lap and easily crosses the start/finish in front of the rest of the field.


Hollywood was giving good chase, although the mullet may have caused too much wind resistance.


Mike's long wheelbase was a huge disadvantage in the singletrack, but he sure looks like he's having fun!
Steve continues to hold his lead position, spanking the monkey for all it's worth.


Robin looks quite hip with his turned-back cap.


Hollywood chases down Ed but just can't seem to get by.


Grossly disadvantaged, we sent Mike on a bypass to shorten the route of the last lap a bit.
In the end, Steve's awesome Monkey prevailed and won.


Chris rolls across the finish next, but it turns out he cheated a bit by shortcutting the course. He was not tarred nor feathered. :-)


Mike eventually makes his way back to the finish, well exhausted.
The next part of the competition was the unexpectedly treacherous dragstrip eliminations. Before the festivities continued, everyone takes in the sight into the valley and towards the Santa Ana river.

In the background is Huntington Beach. The beach skies caused all these photos to have the unusual tint. I'm only using a cheap(ish) Casio Exilim camera as it was the easiest to lug around (thus the low-quality pictures).


Ed leads Hollywood in the first round down the dragstrip.


The trail was filled with short rolly sections that would allow you to get some air if you opted to do so.


This is the last shot of Hollywood "intact". In the final rounds his awesome might would prove too much for his SRAM chain...
Next up were the the two Steves. Timan Steve took on DDawg Steve in a fierce run.


The Karate Monkey proved to be too much to chase for Timan today.


Hollywood waves his mullet to start the next group with Chris, Robin, and Mike.


Chris charges off with much determination to take the holeshot and eventually the win for the round.


Mike leads Robin through the finish but word was that there might have been some foul play in the form of an arm blocking Robin's path!
Molly sends the finalists off, which included Steve, Ed, Chris, and Jeff. I added Jeff in as a technicality of the first heat being run sort of unofficially.


And they're off! The adrenaline is high and everyone stands to hammer.


Baboom! Jeff goes down in thundering flames as his chain breaks under power. Despite feeling quite badly for him, it was way awesome to witness. Even the other competitors are looking back in awe!


I quickly ran up to take a picture... then asked him if he was ok. Heheh.
Meanwhile, those still upright continued to race. Once again Steve takes his Karate Monkey to a win.


Ed cruises in for a second.


And Chris places third on his department store contraption.
We take a small break to repair Jeff's chain. Fortunately, his fellow competitors had the parts and tools to get him going again.


These next two shots are purely for your enjoyment. For the ladies in the audience, might I suggest that you enlarge and print these out as wall-sized posters.


It's time to do some timed hill-climbing! Robin grunts off the start.


The (steeper than it looks) hill proved to be challenging and...


a dismount was necessary. Robin ran his bike up the final yards.


Chris torques the cranks off the start as well. Everyone was trying to get as much speed as possible before hitting the incline.


The gradually-steepening hill proved too tough to ride.
One by one the competitors tackled the hill. Hollywood is the first to make it all the way up to the top without dismounting.


Ed also makes it to the top cleanly.


But not Steve. He slips a pedal towards the top and actually falls over! His awesome speed still allowed him to take the win though.


Here is Steve picking up his Monkey after having fallen over.

This is an archived article from the original singlespeed.net site.